Reflecting on 50

Today is my 50th birthday. The Big 5-0. Five Zero. How is that even possible? When did I get so old?

In my head, I don’t feel that old. I feel like I should have more shit figured out by now. I still have a teenage boy’s sense of humor, although at least I have the good sense to keep it to myself. Most of the time, at least. Fart jokes are still hilarious, but I tend to only share them with my brothers.

In my bones, I sometimes feel that old. There’s a snap, crackle, and pop when I stand up from my chair. I have to flex my legs to wake up my quads and calves before I get out of bed, so I don’t pull something or immediately cramp up. I slept quite poorly last night due to pain in one hip, and then I’d turn over to my other side, only to feel pain in my opposite shoulder. I’m sure I should stretch more.

Fifty years in, though, things could be worse.

I’ve seen some shit in my time, let me tell you. I’m from the tail end of Generation X, close enough to the Millennials to share some of their cultural touchstones too.

I was in elementary school when the Challenger space shuttle blew up. Christa McAuliffe was supposed to be the first teacher in outer space, and she spent her formative years in my hometown. One of my teachers went to college with her. We renamed our public library after her. It was a capital-B Big capital-D Deal when the Challenger blew up and the astronauts died.

I was in high school when the Berlin Wall fell. The Cold War was over. Still there when the U.S. went to war with Iraq, the first time, sending American troops far, far away to protect oil interests.

I was a freshman in college when Kurt Cobain committed suicide. Still there when I watched the L.A.P.D. chase that white Ford Bronco carrying O.J. Simpson. Still there when I watched the shocking “Not Guilty” verdict come down from O.J.’s trial.

I was in my first job out of college when the dot-com bubble burst. Still there when the airplanes flew into the World Trade Center on September 11th. Still there when the U.S. went to war with Afghanistan, as well as Iraq, the second time.

I was in my third job out of college when the 2008 financial crisis started. Still there when, full of HOPE and “Yes We Can”, we elected the first Black man to be the President of the United States. Still there when the first same-sex marriage licenses were issued in California, and then when Prop 8 subsequently banned same-sex marriage in California. Still there when I met my now-wife.

I went into lockdown at home when the coronavirus spread around world and became a global pandemic. Still there when we watched the January 6th insurrectionists storm the U.S. Capitol. I wasn’t at home anymore when Roe v. Wade was overturned, but it made me want to crawl under the covers and hide until the world makes sense again.

Three and a half years later, it makes even less sense.

Russia invaded Ukraine. Hamas attacked Israel. Israel attacked back, bringing the conflict back to Gaza. Then came Hezbollah in Lebanon, and airstrikes into Iran. The U.S. bombed Iran, too, for good measure. And, most recently, the U.S. sent airstrikes into Venezuela, once again sending American troops far, far away to protect oil interests.

And so it goes, on and on and on.

So, yeah, I’ve seen some shit.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up a few things worth holding onto.

I saw the ball go through Bill Buckner’s legs, and I saw Dave Roberts steal second. The Red Sox broke the Curse of the Bambino, then the White Sox broke their own curse, then the Cubs -- the sad-sack CUBS! -- broke their curse.

Tom Brady led the Patriots -- the sad-sack PATRIOTS! -- to six Super Bowl championships.

Kevin Garnett showed us that “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE”, and Jayson Tatum reiterated that sentiment sixteen years later.

The Internet. Mobile phones. AI. Self-driving cars.

Sadly, though, we still don’t have jetpacks.

Fifty years.

I’ve loved. I’ve lost. I’ve lived.

I’ve forgotten more that happened than I could possibly remember to tell you about.

Fifty years.

So much change.

So much left to do.

So many places to visit, so many books left to read, so many movies to see.

Fifty years.

Still plenty of time.

Let's get started.